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Grima’s 10 best lines from Morning Glory

He’s already one of the most popular retirees of recent years, and Nathan Grima did his reputation as one of the game’s finest funnymen no harm on SEN’s Morning Glory on Wednesday.

The now ex-North Melbourne defender was at his humorous and sarcastic best when talking about player personalities, his future, and a little mishap while preparing for his imminent surgery.

Click here to watch Grima’s heartfelt retirement speech

Here’s a wrap-up of his best stories and one-liners from the interview.

his one and only AFL goal:

The club put together a highlight reel for my retirement but there wasn’t one on-field highlight, it was just me talking rubbish in the media.

Preparing for more back surgery:

I haven’t slept that well. They need to make a cut in my abdomen, under my belly button and my pubic bone so I thought I’d get on the front foot and clean myself up to save the nurse from doing it. I got a bit of the Veet hair removal cream and I didn’t read the instructions because I’m a know-it-all and I’ve left it on for too long. Now I look like Patches O’Houllihan and I hardly slept a wink because everything’s hurting. It’s horrible and it didn’t even get it all.

It’s been building for so long. I had my first operation five years ago and the amount of injections I’ve had, some nerves burnt off. I’ve played through it, so it’s pretty courageous when you think about it. I like to think what I could’ve been and I reckon I could’ve made it to 150 games.

The ramifications of a bad back on one of his favourite hobbies:

The other week we had a get-together at the pub for the mid-season break, so I limped in there feeling sorry for myself and I promised not to tell anyone I was retiring but with each beer I was telling everyone.

So I wanted them to remember me for what I was so, late in the night, I challenged Lachie Hansen to a dance-off and there wasn’t too much wrong with the back, I was doing the worm and back rolls. It wasn’t that extended but I had to let a few of the young blokes know what I was about when I was younger and gee I’ve been sore since but it was worth it.

Adjusting to a change in salary:

I didn’t earn enough in my career to set myself up like some guys. I’m in that awkward position where I earned a bit to live a good lifestyle but now I can’t afford that lifestyle and I’m floundering hard.

What he’ll miss about the footy club environment:

I’m going to miss all the guys. Even the stuff I whinged about and hated, I’m starting to miss. I want to go into an ice bath, stretch down after the game, and do core exercises so I’m missing all that.

Hopefully I get my back good enough that I can go to another footy club because I love footy clubs. A few years ago I went down to Tassie for a mate’s Grand Final and I loved it that much I showered with the boys afterwards and drank out of the cup, so they had to get me out of the rooms.

Who he usually played well on:

Does this show go into Perth? Because I got a hold of Pav a couple of times. I got him good one day at Etihad but I think he had gastro or something and we were playing about three spares back. I went to the Brownlow that year and I was sweating on that game but they got it wrong, yet again, the umpires and I never got a Brownlow vote.

Pav’s a super player and a seven time All-Australian and won a few best and fairests but I think he’ll remember me.

being recognised in public:

I always found most AFL players hate it when they’re out and people come and talk to them but the novelty never wore off for me. ‘Is that you Nathan?’ and I’d be like ‘yeah come here, mate’.

Player personalities in the media:

I’m not a big fan of hearing the same rubbish that comes out of a lot of player’s mouths, give us something like you’re allowed to have a personality, it’s a game of footy for Christ’s sake.

Who at North speaks the most rubbish:

Generally, whoever is further up the food chain is messaging directly from the board, CEO and coach, so it starts with Swallow and filters down. You get to player number 30 on the list… I have no consequence so I’ll say whatever I want to say.

And who at the club is most likely to do the opposite:

I don’t know if anyone else has got a personality. No, they’re all great. You just have to ask the right questions.